As 2014 came to a close, Iāve had little voices buzzing around in my head telling me about plans for 2015, goals for the distant future, resolutions, things I would like to accomplish. And honestly, all of them scare the living snot out of me. The guts of them are mostly comprised of things Iāve discovered about myself and others, but also advice people have given me.
So you, my dear readerāshould you chose to carry onāare the proud recipient of these fastidious flurry of thoughts. Many of these topics are have been regurgitated time and time again from a self help article online or from a friend, collegue, and family member. So here they are againāchomped, chewed, and processed through my own system. Enjoy!
BE MORE BRAVE
One of the hardest things I have had to struggle with in my life is fear. Growing up I feared I wasnāt good enough, or smart enough, or talented enough. Namely in the eyes of others. I constantly compared myself to others in a negative wayāto my peers, my family, and my proud father. My fears are and still continue to be a giant scary monster that I think we can all relate to. People in general are fearful. Weāre hard wired to be afraid, but weāre also hard wired to be brave. However, being brave is never easy, and almost always will result in an increased heart rate, or in my case sweaty palms. But if we were a little braver maybe we can all help each other. Lets start with the baby steps.Yes?
LEARN TO SAY NO MORE
Iāve often been called a yes man indirectly before. Although, Iām not sure if it was an insult (it probably was). What Iāve learned from friends and colleagues is how to say no not just to say no. We canāt always appease everybody. There are times when Iāve said said yes to something and resented saying anything in the first place because it wasnāt what I wanted or I couldnāt follow through. The reality was that my āyesā was not really a yes, but rather, it was just a repurposed or repackaged version of yes with a quiet almost silent ābutā. It was more of aāIām interested, I want to help, but Iām not sure. But saying no is ok. I am ok with that. The world will keep turning and you will keep walking; pushing forward in whatever it is you are wanting to accomplish. When you say no, there are other doors that open for you which might have a āno, but lets see what happensā written across it.
MAKE SH*TTY WORK
This should speak to every creative. As an artist, designer, and illustrator (something along those lines) you cannot be afraid to make things that may or may not be below SUBPAR (dooming echoey voice). After all, the greatest thinkers and doers did not just have an idea that was brilliantly executed in the first experiment, or try. It took a lot of practice, perseverance, and trial and error. Itās inevitable that this process will result in failure and frustration sometimes. Or most of the time. But itās ok. You might have heard the words āfail moreā which I donāt really like because it sounds negative. Just tell yourself to just keep pushing forward despite what others think. Inherently, people and the stuff they make are imperfect, but that is also beautiful. I would like to adopt the philosophy of the 2012 documentary Beauty is Embarrassing; which is a funny, irreverent, and joyful film cataloguing the life of the American artist Wayne White. Go watch it sometime, itāll make you smile and laugh.
LISTEN TO OTHERS
Half of what Iāve said so far has been from bits and pieces of information that people have shared with me or taught me. Most of it comes from listening. Donāt be afraid to be open minded and listen to others. That was one of the first things my manager at Texas A&M told me on my last days of working for the University. She would say, āChris, I think you need to work on on listening moreā¦and communicate better.ā Similarly, countless others have told me the same thing. Overtime Iāve gotten better. Iāve learned that being open minded, listening, and telling your story goes a long way. I certainly wouldnāt be where I am today without lending my ear or saying a bit about myself and my interests. You will truly never experience the same set of circumstances as the thousands of people you encounter. There are always gems of advice or wisdom they may give to you. Always listenāsoak everything up like a sponge.
GIVE MORE AND EXPECT NOTHING IN RETURN
Listening to people can be a great stepping stone towards new, exciting discoveries and opportunities; but so is giving. Giving a gift, giving your thoughts and efforts, or giving your time to a project are all equally important but weighed differently. There were times, when Iāve given 110% to a project or undertaking and gotten no results from itāor maybe they just werenāt the results I wanted them to be aesthetically. You could compare giving to a fire. The fire always needs stoking and care. It needs air and resources. Sometimes the logs burn more quickly and sometimes they burn more slowly. You have to fuel the giving fire so it can burn and produce heat. When the time is right, and the heat is good, everyone can gather around the fire and share.
SURROUND YOURSELF WITH GOOD PEOPLE
When I pause for a second and think about all the people that have touched my life, I reflect on those who have improved my quality of living or who have made me happy in some sense. You should surround yourself with people you enjoy being around, share similar qualities with, and who bring joy to your life. But donāt be afraid to meet and learn from people that donāt share your similar interests. And make time for your friends and family. In whatever form or place that may happen.
MAKE FAMILY WHERE YOU CAN
Your family and community are one of the most important aspects of being human. These relationships are made and can come from anywhere. Over the past two years Iāve had to trudge through the muddy hill that are my personal struggles and fight the inner battles Iāve encountered. I taught myself how to compartmentalize and I believe I am stronger from the experiences I went throughāmore than I want to give myself credit for. I cannot tell you how deeply important and necessary family and community areāespecially to me. Family can be made of friends, friendās families, and others. All together molding the heart that is love.
GO AND BE BRAVE!
So, as 2015 is underway, I hope I could impart some advice on you that you can use as encouragement to forge your own sword and shield through the throes of battle and throngs of challenges you encounter in your life journey. It took a lot of bravery to write this and Iām sure itās still not quite near perfect or āthereā but Iām glad I wrote it.